whatwhiteswillneverknow:

Whenever a white person asks me a dumb question about my race like it’s any of their business, I’m going to give them a relevant answer that is so obviously not what they’re looking for.

White Person: “What are you?”
Me: “I’m an English major!”

White Person: “Omg, you’re [ethnicity]? I LOVE [something related to your ethnicity.]”
Me: “No kidding! And you’re white? I absolutely adore. You know. Um. Making dog sweaters.”

White Person: “Where are you from?”
Me: ” [insert state here]”
White Person: “No, really. Where are you from?”
Me: “Well, I didn’t want to go here, but you know my dad, right? Well, he has this thing called a penis. And my mom has this thing called a vagina. And one day, they decided, “Hey. Our genitalia should get to know each other. What say they mingle for a bit?” And so they let this happen. And lo, I was born seven months later, ambiguous looking and fabulous in all of my glory.”

Pressed. I promise you. Money back guarantee and EVERYTHING on that shit.

* I lied. Dog sweaters are hideous.

12:49 am  •  27 January 2012  •  77 notes